Kids Carry Heavy Things, And It's Not Just Books.
by Margarita Valdes
Build Confidence Before Doubt Weighs Them Down
Imagine. A boy walking toward the building alone, yellow backpack bouncing with every step, the doubts increasing with every step toward the front doors.
"Maybe yellow wasn't a good choice. I hope the teacher doesn't call on me.
I bet everyone else is already faster than me. I should have gotten the other sneakers."
Nobody around him can hear any of it. But most of us know exactly what it sounds like, because we remember carrying that exact weight at his age, and honestly, some mornings I still do.
Kids walk into school carrying a lot more than what fits in a backpack. They carry a running commentary about whether they measure up, rehearsed before the first bell ever rings.
If you are being honest, you probably still run a version of it too. We just trade the classroom for the office and the cafeteria table for the group chat, asking the same question in grown up language.
Am I doing enough. Am I liked enough. Am I far enough along.
Paul asked it too, in Galatians 1:10, wondering out loud whether he was living to win people's approval or God's. It is an old tension stuffed in a new backpack.
Confidence Begins Before The First Bell
Imagine. Your child walks into the classroom, and the other kids, already in their seats, reach up and high-five him as he makes his way to his desk. He hasn’t answered a single question. He isn’t known as the school jock. He just walked in and was welcomed.
That probably doesn’t happen often enough.
If you grew up like I did, you might hand out affirmation after a reward for a performance or save it for the good report card or the goal scored because that is the pattern most of us grew up with. But the pattern in Matthew 3 flips the sequence entirely.
Matthew 3:17 hands every parent a clue to building confidence before the first bell. Before Jesus preached a single sermon or healed a single person, His Father spoke over Him first. He said: "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."
The declaration of love came before the ministry, not after it. Being loved was never something Jesus had to earn His way into. It was already true, spoken plainly, and everything He did afterward flowed out of that identity instead of chasing it.
When love comes first, everything that follows grows out of an identity that is already settled.
The Words Lighten The Load
Proverbs 18:21 is not a poetic exaggeration: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue."
Words shape how a child understands who they are, and they will hear a version of that voice all day long, whether it is yours or someone else's. Before the hallway gets a chance to speak, you get in the first word.
Imagine. The father in the picture. He kneels down to adjust his son's backpack straps one more time than they need adjusting. It gives him a few extra seconds to say what his son most needs to hear.
You are capable.
It is okay to make mistakes today.
I am proud of you.
Imagine. He nods the way kids nod and smiles because he just heard something that made him stand a little taller. Maybe he didn't even notice the backpack felt much lighter. Then he turns and walks toward the building, carrying both the words he was just given and the doubts that linger.
Imagine. The words safely tucked in his backpack. Waiting quietly until the moment he needs them.
You do not have to imagine this next part - do it.
Tonight, or tomorrow morning before the backpack goes on, try saying something specific out loud before your kid walks into whatever room is waiting for them.
Not "you'll do great."
Something true. Something you are proud of, something you like about who they are becoming, something you appreciate about how they already show up in your family.
Say it before the day gets the chance to speak first.
Words are not just polite fillers. They are the ultimate high-five.
As always, we pray you Experience His Love and Live the Better AFTER.
👇Ready to build this into a daily rhythm instead of a one time conversation? The Bedtime Blessings Kit turns spoken identity into a nightly habit, and our Saving Grace conversation cards give you the exact words to start with when you are not sure where to begin.
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